​I was  a young girl always looking for friends and a way to fit in.  Always  looking to be accepted. Maybe that’s  why it hit so close to home when my princess cried over an outfit that she felt would make her look like a freak among her peers. “They are going to laugh at me and I  just want  to fit in!” My heart was torn as she uttered those words, to say I had flashbacks is an understatement.  Although I grew up in a different era than her the feelings of wanting so badly to fit in were the same.  The feelings of not being good enough were the same.  How do  I speak to her heart without revealing the hurt that it brought up in mine?  I realized at that moment I had to share it not hide it.  We sat down and spoke about the reality of not meeting  others expectations and about the difference between real friends and people you know.  Her best friend was with her getting ready for a school event when all this happened she saw the whole meltdown.  Then I saw something that captured my heart.  Her friend sat next to her on the floor and said “it doesn’t matter if they don’t think you fit in, I know you do”.  Oh my mommy radar went off you know the one that says this friend is a keeper! And tears filled my eyes, she had a real friend on her team, one that didn’t require her to fit but just be and reminded her of who she was.

You see those that you know are on your team determine your outcome.  For good or bad they determine your outcome.  I have had both good teammates and bad ones. The good ones are still in my life.  The bad ones I learned from and let them go, some got drafted to other teams {if you love baseball you will know what I mean} and still others I learned how to work with and we made each other better as time went by.

We chose who we want to have and allow into our lives. I know you may think how can they determine my outcome? Simple.  If they are negative and their words and actions continuously  beat you down it will get to a point that you may believe what they say and stop working and trying to be better.  If they don’t let you dream and they don’t inspire you, if they are not realistic in just reminding you of who you are and challenging you to the be the best at whatever you do, then its time to let that teammate go.  A real teammate will work with you, challenge you, show off your strength and teach you new things and in return you do the same thing.   We must be wise and diligent at who we allow to be on our team.  Oh we can have many people in our lives but not on our team.  You can have tons of family and different friends and people you love but that doesn’t mean they are all on your team.   Anyone can go to a baseball game but not anyone can be on the baseball team.  A team is a group of people working together for one same goal.  If they are on your team they should know what the goal is.  If  you are on someone else’s team you should know what their goal is.  It’s not about fitting in to outside standards it’s about knowing who you are, who you were created to be, who God has called you to be and then being mindful of the team you  have that works with you to see that come to life. It’s not about fitting in, it’s about being you.  The you that God created an purposed you to be.  Jesus had many followers but only 12 disciples and out of all of them, only 3 were with him on the mountain of transfiguration.  Not everyone around you is meant to be on your team.

The girls finished getting ready went to the school event and had a blast, they laughed and took pictures.  At the end of the night after we dropped off her BFF my daughters words were “mom she is such a good friend, she reminded me that it’s okay to be me, and that I don’t have to fit in, I just need to be me”.  Chose your team wisely as they will directly affect the outcome of you life.

Merita’s Heart

Proverbs 18:24 (AMP) The man of too many friends [chosen indiscriminately] will be broken in pieces and come to ruin, But there is a [true, loving] friend who [is reliable and] sticks closer than a brother.

Ps. I’m super grateful for my team, they are a mix of family and friends of super organized individuals, intellectual individuals and hippy like artistic people.  I have an array of people who are on my team and I continue to learn and be a better person because of them. My prayer is that I be the best teammate possible to those who’s team I’m on.