Truck driver, wrestler, body builder, fatso!

None of which I am or care to be although I would love to drive an 18 wheeler just to see how it feels and I’m still working on my weight{and by working on my weight I mean getting healthier even if I can’t get thinner}. But I remember growing up feeling like I didn’t fit in anywhere. My hair was straight but not blonde enough, I was too light for some, too dark skinned for others. Between our rigorous religious beliefs and my Puertorican heritage I struggled to find my place or where I fit in and who I looked like, or wanted to be like. In church I felt like part of the family but even there I was told I had a big mouth, I was a show off or brown nosed because I wanted to know more, to know why, to learn more. I wanted to do more, help more, be more. I was at times known for being “too truthful” that’s when you speak the truth without love, thankfully I have learned and I’m still learning to use my words better and wrap them up with love or not say them at all.

Words have a way of marking our lives, if we listen to the same ones long enough, if different people say the same thing we can make the mistake of accepting those words as truth in our lives.  Every time we try to walk away from those words or try to live different from them we fail at something and boom! The words are back to solidify the idea that maybe they are right?! I’m not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, popular enough, creative enough.  Or they can be what I like to call “false positives” words that are meant to make you feel better but can harm you if they are out of context for example “you are not fat you are just big boned” when in reality you are obese and need to get healthier.  “You don’t have a bad temper, you are just passionate” when in reality you need to learn self control and stop fighting with everyone.

False positives don’t address the issue or the truth they try to go over and around it with words.

When God marks you and calls you out into something he does it because he knows full well what you are capable of.  He does  not use false positives, he does not highlight the negative to condemn us.  He speaks the truth in love, he calls out what is wrong and what is right and gives us the strength and courage to go beyond the negative and false positive words that are spoken to us to the truth of what He says.  God knows full well that you are indeed a human with flaws but amazing capabilities. A human that struggles but in his hands can become all that he has called you out to be. Ephesians 4:1 the apostle Paul urges us to walk in a manner worthy of our calling, vocation, what we are meant to be.  We are to walk out in the flesh what God has called us to do, no matter what words, be they negative or false positives were spoken over us.  We must find who we are in the word of God and walk out what He has called us to be! To the point that it is no longer about what they called you, but what God has called you.

What did HE call you? He says you are strong, loved, free, held and his.  So go be the best man, woman, parent, cook, photographer, singer, preacher, advocate, speaker, teacher, driver, hairstylist, pastor, psychologist, doctor and human being you can be knowing you are what He says you are.

Merita’s Heart

You Say