Merita's Heart

I grew up in some of Boston’s toughest neighborhoods, Dorchester and Roxbury, to be exact. During the late 70’s and all throughout the 80’s, these urban neighborhoods were full of abandoned lots right next to the run-down brownstones we lived in. There was a time in my childhood when the view looking out my window was of abandoned cars that had been stolen, taken apart, set on fire, and abandoned in the empty lot right outside my bedroom window.

I remembered an instance where the guys were crashing the car on purpose against the building, my heart racing, wondering if they would crash into my bedroom. The exploding cars set ablaze that some kids saw in movies, I saw with my own eyes! There were times when I thought I would never see anything different. Where the rundown, empty lots and brownstones that needed so many repairs would be what I saw my entire life.

34 years later, I am standing in the kitchen of my own home, and as I look out of my window, my heart is filled with gratitude, my eyes well up with tears. I whisper to myself, “Is this real?” I couldn’t believe my eyes. A deep sense of gratitude emerged as tears streamed down my face. Getting here took years, but finally arriving gave my heart an exhale of freedom I never knew I was holding on to. There are areas of our lives we may not know we need to be free or healed from until we arrive at another destination.

I survived my childhood views and have lived long enough to see new ones. My prayer is that you may experience the freedom of exhaling from the things that may have had you holding your breath without you even knowing it. That you may experience new views, those filled with safety, security, and peace. May God direct you to where you need to be so that you may arrive and see with your own eyes what is possible.